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Grief reactions to theVancouver Lapu-Lapu Day festival tragedy |
by Cheryl Dizon-Reynante
The tragedy in Vancouver that happened on April 26, 2025, has shocked the local community in BC, fellow Filipinos across the nation and the world, along with many allies and friends. People are feeling the gravity of heavy emotions as everyone is trying to find out and process what happened. At the time that this article is published, details about the event and the identity of the victims are still unfolding.
As we see pictures and videos from that day and eyewitnesses speaking out, we feel the pull of deep ties to our community. Even when we are far away geographically, the faces that we see in media coverage can be unknown to us, yet familiar at the same time. These faces look like our neighbours, family members, and close friends.
We are at the beginnings of watching the Filipino community in Vancouver and in Canada repair and try to heal after such devastation. Many of us feel a pull, an aching, a raw emotion that makes us feel vulnerable ourselves. This reaction is called grief.
Grief experienced after the personal loss of a loved one is difficult, and one of the most stressful experiences that someone can have. But grief can also happen at a community and even a national level, when tragedy happens on a much larger level like this one. We will hear more stories unfold, and start to get to know the victims, feeling our hearts break repeatedly.
But interestingly, people will have different reactions. Why is that? Simply put, people grieve in different ways. There are different theories of grief, but some common emotions that people can feel include the following.
Denial and numbness
This can include thoughts such as, “I can’t believe this is happening” or “This must be a bad dream.” Sometimes, people will avoid watching the news because images and stories can be challenging to see and hear. Denial is usually a temporary stage because it is an initial defence mechanism, protecting oneself from difficult feelings.
Anger
Examples of thoughts and statements can sound like, “This is not fair… how could this happen to innocent children and good people?” or “They did not do anything to deserve this!” or “Who is to blame?” People can be angry at other people, or even at themselves. Sometimes, we consider what could have been different. For example, some are looking at the security precautions at the festival.
Bargaining
“I will pray more and to church every Sunday if God helps the victims’ families and those still fighting in hospital.” People who experience these thoughts are hopeful that they can help in some way and are seeking a solution.
Depression
Some people feel intense despair and sadness and can think, “My heart is aching for the family and friends who are affected” or “I am crying so much” or “I feel so helpless.” At this point, it is normal to feel sad, angry, scared and confused. The reality of the situation is setting in, and nothing can be done to change what happened. This is an important stage and one that should not be rushed or go unacknowledged. Someone feeling so deeply sad is simply processing what happened, and it is normal to feel this way.
Acceptance
This is hard for people to get to because the tragedy can seem so senseless, and the initial emotions are so strong. After some time, people can think, “This is so devastating but what can I do to help?” and look for ways to move forward. This stage can also be looked at as a form of restructuring and rebuilding after so much loss.
Other than emotions, it is important to pay attention to physical and bodily sensations. People experiencing grief can get headaches and digestion issues and find that their sleep is disrupted. Waking up in the middle of the night can be a common reaction. To minimize the impact on our health, it is important to stick to a routine as much as possible. Prioritize sleep and exercise, and do not forget to eat a healthy diet.
Make sure that you have healthy coping strategies. It is normal and healthy to cry and feel angry but ensure that you have helpful outlets. For example, talk to someone that you trust or seek out a professional to talk to. Some people find it very helpful to exercise, even if that means going for a walk. Others journal, play music, do crafts, and attend social gatherings.
After the Vancouver festival tragedy, there have been numerous gatherings of people praying and mourning together.
It is important to know that no one can fix, avoid, or cure grief. It is a natural reaction when something or someone important has been lost, and there is a sense of disconnection. That is why helpers, community, and compassion for others is so important. This is where the Filipino community thrives. It makes a huge difference when people feel that they are not suffering alone, and this gives them the courage to move forward.
Cheryl Dizon-Reynante is a licensed therapist with the Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapy Association.