My funny Valentine

Can you believe it? Another Valentine’s Day is upon us. How quickly does time fly? It only seemed like yesterday when I was at the local chocolate confectioner, surrounded by piles and piles of truffles, peanut brittle and chocolate covered strawberries.

I am going to try something different this year. Instead of buying the cheesy heart shaped boxes of chocolates, I am going to buy my lovely wife a dozen ensaimada, a few frozen packages of spicy longanisa and a sack of rice. We’ll get better use out of those gifts than stale chocolate imported from China.
I hope she likes it, stay tuned next month, and I’ll let you know how she took it. If she doesn’t like it, then, sadly, this will be my last article. It was nice knowing you.

In other news:

You are looking at one of the newest Driver Education Instructors with Manitoba Public Insurance. As if my life wasn’t busy enough with wrestling, hip-hop dance and soccer classes for my kids, I figured I had a couple hours to spare every other day. I am starting to think that a nice quiet vacation somewhere hot would be a good thing right about now. No kids, just me and a Speedo.

I never thought that I would be a Driver’s Ed teacher, no way. But here I am, finishing up the last of my training and I have to say, I am quite excited to get started.

I can picture it now, a class full of anxious wide-eyed 16-year olds sitting and waiting for me to teach them how to drive properly and how to do it well. In my training, I have learned that the art of driving is an exact science. For instance, that little bar that sticks out from the left side of your steering wheel, that’s the turn signal switch! You would think that most Winnipeggers have no clue what it is, since nobody really uses it, right? Yeah, you know who you are. The turn signal is one of the most important and useful inventions ever. Ever.

I write this with a sense of sarcasm, if you didn’t notice that already. Why is it that so many drivers forget to use this little doohickie? It can’t be more simple to use and quite honestly, last time I checked, I don’t have ESP and can’t read other people’s minds (except of course when I do something wrong at home, because then, my wife doesn’t need to say a word, I know exactly what she is thinking) and in no way will I know what another driver is about to do. Quite simply, using your signal to change lanes or perhaps warning us that you will be turning right or left up ahead would be good to know. The last thing I want is to scratch my baby.

I shouldn’t generalize that all drivers are bad drivers. Who knows, perhaps you had a bad day at work and just need to get home and relax, or maybe there is an emergency at home and you have the need to pick up the pace or there is a sale on longanisa at Young’s Market. There potentially could be many reasons why at that particular moment, you notice a bad driver on our streets. I kid of course, all in all, we are pretty good drivers here in Winnipeg.

Which brings me back to my Driver’s Ed class. I can’t wait to get started and pass my wisdom onto the next generation of drivers. I mean, how perfect could it be? I will ensure that these kids drive safe and know the rules of the road. But most important, how much safer will I feel knowing that these kids have received the proper education to be successful drivers? Very safe indeed.

Dale Burgos manages the communications department for a Winnipeg school division and isn’t really buying his wife longanisa for Valentine’s Day. He’s buying her tocino.

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