Fourteen years ago

By Monica de Castro

Fourteen years ago, my family and I moved to Canada with the hopes of a better future. It is, I believe, the kind of hope that every immigrant family carries with them when moving away from home. Whether it is a move to another city, country or continent, there is always hope for a better life.

Fourteen years ago, we packed our belongings – practically our lives – in ten large boxes to start a new life in a different city, in a different country and a different continent.

Fourteen years ago, I was nine years old and oblivious to the realities of moving away and leaving behind the country I called home. Never did it occur to me that it would take a number of years before I would be able to set my feet back on the country where I was born.

Fourteen years ago, I said goodbye to the Philippines and every year since my family arrived in Canada, I have wondered when I can say hello again. I am still wondering.

Many would say, “If you really wanted to go back, you can always go back.” Then I would simply reply, “But I cannot afford the fare.” Not to mention the amount that I will be able to spend there! This, among other things, has been the excuse year after year. So what is my excuse this year?

I have come to the realization that the Philippines has become a country as foreign to me as any country in Europe. My fourteen years of “Canadian living” and the fact that I have not been a balikbayan has far-removed me from my country of birth, at least beyond what I expected. That is to say, I am always having to “catch-up” on events that have happened. I find myself re-learning facts that I used to know about my country and my culture. And my nine years of childhood all seems to be but a distant memory.

However, this sudden realization gave me, not another excuse to postpone what I have wanted to do for years, but rather gave me a profound reason as to why I should go back. While my fourteen years have sequestered me from my birth country, it has also made me all the more passionate to learn (even if it means having to re-learn) about the Philippines and its culture. As for my childhood memories, what better way to recall those memories and reminisce about the past than going back to the place where I had them? Better yet, what better way to make new memories than visiting family and friends who I have not seen in fourteen years?

Soon, is all I can say for now.

Wish me luck!

Monica is a member of ANAK and is currently saving up enough money to finally take that trip to the Philippines. If you are interested in volunteering as a mentor, contact the author at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or visit www.anak.ca.