Dear Ate Anna,

I have two teenagers. As an immigrant parent, I have many worries… I worry about not giving the best to our children; I worry about that our children growing up here will lose some of the Filipino values that are important to us; I worry because our children don’t want to listen and talk to us. Ate Anna, what can we do?- Emily

	CLICK THE AD TO REGISTER!

Dear Emily,

You are not alone. Many immigrant parents feel the same way as you. We know that immigrant parents face many challenges coming to this new country. For teenagers, they also have their own set of unique challenges growing up in this new environment.

As parents, we need to understand that children growing up here in Canada are growing up between two cultures – the Filipino cultural heritage and the “mainstream” culture. They go to school here, they make friends – in fact, our children are a product of two cultures.

They may want to “fit in”; to dress and behave like their friends. They may be confused about the appropriateness of behaviours like dating, or going to parties. Their parents say one thing and their friends say the opposite. They may feel pressured by their parents or teachers to do well in school, in sports or other artistic works. They may want to please their parents. At the same time they may feel lonely but find it difficult to make friends. Immigrant youth may also feel confused about their cultural identity – feelings of not belonging to either culture.

Remember, teenagers are in transition from childhood to adulthood. During this period teenaged children are looking for independence. They may have their own ideas and want to develop their own set of values. Most often teenagers have their own world view and see things very differently from their parents. They want to be individuals who make their own decisions. But they still want to hear what their parents think and what values are important to them. They need their parent’s guidance and support. That’s why good family communication is so important.

As parents, we are so busy and focused on making a living that sometimes we forget our children have their needs too – and not just material needs. They need their parents to understand their point of view, to listen to them. Listening is important. Let your children share their feelings and thoughts with you. Avoid giving lectures or questioning excessively. If teenagers feel that they are being listened to, they are more willing to continue the conversation. Good communication allows parents to share their expectations and teach important values to them; values that can guide them in making responsible decisions.

Emily, communicating with teenagers requires a lot of patience. Good communication is a skill that takes practice. At the upcoming event, An Evening with Ate Anna, parents will hear some suggestions for building good relationships with their teenagers. Ate Anna invites you and other new immigrant parents to come to this event on March 18th at CB’s restaurant. You can also bring along your children or the children’s friends. This is a free event with dinner, draw for prizes, entertainment and fun. Seating is limited. Reservation is required. For more information or to make a reservation, please see the notice in the paper or call Ate Anna at 982-7811. Hope to see you there!

Take care,
Ate Anna

Ate Anna welcomes your questions and comments. Please write to: Ate Anna, Suite 200 – 226 Osborne St. N., Winnipeg, MB R3C 1V4 or e-mail: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

Have a comment on this article? Send us your feedback