What about pornography?

Dear Ate Anna,

I am hearing so much about pornography on the Internet. I have a teenage son and I worry about him looking at pornography. I believe pornography is damaging, but I don’t know what to do to stop him from seeing it. Please do not use my real name. (My son sometimes reads the paper and I don’t want him to know I am writing to you.)

Worried Parent

Dear Worried Parent:

That is a good point that you bring up. Actually, Ate Anna never uses the writer’s real name when she receives a letter or e-mail with a question. Readers do not have to worry that someone will find out they have sent Ate Anna a question! Confidentiality is respected at all times.

The issue you ask is an important one because pornographic images are very easy to find these days. At one time a person would have to face the clerk at a store counter to buy a magazine or rent a video. Today it is easy to remain anonymous when accessing pornography over the Internet. Nobody has to know – including parents!

There is a lot of debate about how harmful pornography is. It is confusing because there are many definitions of pornography and many types of pornography. As well, people have their own beliefs about pornography and how it is used. Research about the effects of pornography does not give us a clear message. While some studies show that viewing pornography may increase rates of sexual crimes, others have shown no effect or even a decrease.

Pornography or “porn” is showing or writing about explicit sexual behaviour for the purpose of causing sexual excitement. The negative extreme of pornography is images that show sexual behaviour being forced on a person or sexual violence (illegal in most countries). The production, sale, and sometimes the possession of child pornography, is illegal in almost all countries of the world.

History tells us that descriptions and images of a sexual nature are as old as civilization. Sometimes we are not sure how to define those ancient statues, carvings and paintings. Some people say they are erotic art or literature that is meant to arouse sexual love.Other people say they are disgusting. This tells us that the definition of what is art and what is pornography has changed throughout the histories of all the world’s cultures.

Recently, a researcher at the University of Montreal, Simon Lajeunesse, wanted to study the impact of pornography on men’s sexuality. The researchers started off looking for men in their 20s who had never consumed pornography. They couldn’t find any. It seems that, for most males, their first contact with pornography was in early adolescence. In fact, the research found that boys often seek out pornography by the age of 10. This makes sense, because children are sexually curious as they begin the developmental journey from child to adult. The good news is that most boys quickly ignore what they don’t like or find offensive. The research showed that as adults, men continue to look for content that matches their image of sexuality.

What this tells us is that it is important for parents to talk to their children about sexuality - including pornography. They can help create a healthy image of sexuality for their children. Ate Anna understands that it may be difficult for parents to talk about this. Most parents don’t know how to start the discussion because they have no role model. When they were growing up, sex was a taboo subject and the most important rule was, “No sex before marriage!”

Worried parents must understand that their children’s world is different. Technology has changed everything and sexual messages in the media and advertising are a part of almost every culture in the world now. There is not enough room in today’s column to discuss this issue completely. Look for Ate Anna’s column in the next Pilipino Expressfor some ideas on monitoring pornography on the Internet and having a family discussion about this topic.

Take care,
Ate Anna

Ate Anna welcomes your questions and comments. Please write to: Ate Anna, Suite 200 – 226 Osborne Street N., Winnipeg, MB R3C 1V4 or e-mail: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

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