Listening to communicate effectively

In any line of business, effective communication is essential. In any single day, an employee probably communicates with half a dozen different people, including co-workers, bosses, clients, and suppliers. The people we interact with on a regular basis see us at our best and at our worst. It is therefore necessary to communicate clearly and effectively in order to have a healthy connection of those best moments.

Exchanges between people are an element of communication that involves both the sender of the message and the receiver. For example, when we talk, we want to share an idea or a feeling. In order to share it, someone has to hear what we want to say. Effective communication exists when the receiver interprets the sender’s message in the same way the sender intended. In order to communicate effectively, individuals need to be responsible for both roles of speaker and listener to allow for clear and accurate understanding of messages.

Communication may seem really easy, but what people don’t realize is that it’s a learned skill that requires practice. We communicate face-to-face, via e-mail, on the telephone, in writing, and the Internet. We don’t only communicate with our co-workers, we also communicate with our family and friends. Because communication is something that we do everyday, most of us don’t even give a second thought to communication. As a result, we risk developing poor listening skills. As a matter of fact, people can even become judgmental or don’t allow others to speak and contribute to the discussion without even noticing it.

Listening is one of the most essential elements of communication.

Active listening is a type of communication that can be compared to looking in a mirror. It’s a process that targets helping the speaker (sender) to communicate feeling, meaning and intent. The role of the listener (receiver) is to reflect back to the speaker. The speaker, in turn confirms the reflected response in order to accurately relay the intended meaning. Here are some examples of active listening:

Open-ended questions
As opposed to asking questions that yield, yes or no answers, ask questions that would allow for open conversation. For example, “Tell me about…” “Can you please explain…?”

Clarify
Show interest and desire to understand the other person. If you don’t understand what was said, use clarifying statements to avoid misinterpretation. For example, “You said she’s stubborn. What do you mean by stubborn? What does she do that makes her stubborn?”

Paraphrase
Translate into your own words feelings, questions, and key words. For example, “So you’re saying she’s stubborn because…” or “Tell me if I understand this correctly, you feel she’s stubborn because…” This indicates careful listening and encourages flow in the discussion.

Summarize
Shorten and simplify what has been discussed. For example, “During the past half hour you and I discussed your concerns about…” or “Let’s go over what we’ve talked about…”

What is important to be remembered is that listening is a communication process. Therefore, to be successful, it has to be an active process. Lastly, keep it simple. Think of active listening as the Golden Rule: Listen to others, as you would want to be listened to. To actively listen to a co-worker or boss, focus not only on what the other person is saying, but also look at them, and maintain eye contact to show you are interested.

Sources:

http://www.mcgill.ca/files/hr/SD_Communicating_Effectively_article.pdf
Required readings for Employee Communication and Counseling (April 2004, Course 114.24017, U of M)

Michele Majul, BA (Psych) is an HR Professional.

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