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ANAK    On personal blogging

I have always loved writing. For some reason, my emotions flow out of me by writing them out either on my personal journal or my blogs. There has always been a part of me that wants to impart my life experiences on others. For the past five years, I changed a lot. And it is really funny how I can read my journals and see that transition.

I remember some of the blog posts I have written. In December 2003, my best friend and I were cutting some Christmas decorations for our classroom and we were talking about our grandmothers’ deaths. The pain of the moment was encapsulated inside that short blog entry. The next couple of years after that blog entry, my younger self wrote of the most mundane activities. I even wrote about this toothache I got and how hard it was to chew Oreo cookies because of that.

In April of 2005, I blogged about going to Marikina with my mom, sister and friends. I remember my little sister squeezing herself inside a tiny street sculpture only to realize that the pungent smell of human urine might stick onto her hair. And this was also the trip when I shopped for my most favourite pair of walking sandals that looked like (as my Grade 12 classmate called it) “Jesus’ shoes.”

The excitement of dorm-life and the hassle of my first year of university were described in my blog vividly – from the simple meals my dorm-mates and I shared to the first research paper I crammed through. Side comments like dreaming about my professor were written as well. And weirdly enough, when I did not have the “technology” of floppy nor flash disks, I used to save my academic papers on my blog. Hah!

The genesis of my grief due to our immigration started etching its beginnings on my blog in September 2006. Reading the words I wrote brings shivers down my spine when I witnessed the second snowfall of my life. Furthermore, the words of desperation and solitude are evident. However, alongside these negative emotions are the simple joys of experiencing the long bus rides that are too different from bus rides back home and the smell of coffee in my hair after hanging around Tim Hortons. How I am getting through this dark phase of my young life is unbelievable.

Blog writing is probably the biggest part of my life (‘til I got distracted by online gaming). This method of recording my life is beyond me. Sometimes, it seems to me that of all the blog entries that I have written, I have only said so little. Nevertheless, my blogs kept me intact. They are the witnesses of my previous five years of existence. They recorded the happiest, saddest, scariest and most exciting moments of my young life.

And aside from my personal blogging, I love reading other people’s blogs, too. I watch (or – “cough” – stalk) my friends’ lives through what they blog. Personal blogging is a great way to share people things that you can never publish in a book and sell for millions worth of profit.

Blogging your way through life experiences may help you go through the things you feel like you will never get through. When you read back on these old blog posts, you might even find the urge to smack your 4-year-old younger head. Blog for the sake of keeping memories, but also blog for the sake of letting go of some. Just always remember to keep private blog posts to yourself (or your closest friends) lest you aggravate people in the process of releasing your emotions.

Kezia Malabanan is a member of ANAK. She is forced to say “hello” to Astride, Lei, Benj and Ed.


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